Chicagoland Trip, Part I: Ninja Monks of Chicago

If it feels like it's been a little quiet on the "Let's raise $40k right now Now NOW!!" front that's because it has - I'm just back from a weeklong visit to Chicago for my sister-in-law's wedding and my nephew's baptism.  I didn't know this would happen when we left CA, but I really appreciated the short break from all of the fundraising mayhem.  The visit was great for everything except for the health of my digestive tract and inner diameter of most of my major blood vessels, but more on that later.

Some of the unexpected trip highlights:
1) The B&B run by the Benedictine Ninja Monks of the Monastery of the Holy Cross - Ann, me, Ann's mom, Ann's sister and her man Joe, Ann's brother, his woman Michelle, and their two kids Erik and Paige all stayed at this quaint B&B that was, I kid you not, run by actual monks at an actual monastery in the middle of Chicago, complete with black robes, vows of silence, Gregorian chant, terce,matins, lauds, the whole nine yards.   Here's a nighttime picture of the outside of the place:

Strictly as a B&B, this place rocked - quiet, clean, convenient, and super comfortable without that creepy, "yeah-there-are-probably-peepholes-all-over-this-place-especially-the-bedroom-and-I-used-to-own-48-cats-can-you-tell" kind of feel you get at some places.  Being in the back of a church and functioning monastery definitely added to the provenance and cool factor of the place.  But the hands down best part about the stay was definitely breakfast.  Every morning at 8am a 'breakfast' plate would magically appear halfway up the stairs.  I write 'breakfast' because the term would only be appropriate in a place like Chicago, the same place that had a football player called 'The Refrigerator.'  Here in California the meal they served us would be called, "myocardial infarction, anyone?" Here's a picture of one morning's feast for 5:

A dozen eggs over medium, sausages, hash browns, grapes, cherries, muffins, and yogurts.  Not pictured are the half gallons of whole milk and orange juice that acompanied the meal.  Oh, and the special gluten-free dish they prepared for Ann each morning.  Including this morning, even though eggs, sausages, and hash browns are already gluten free.  How serious were the meals?  Let's just say that I wasn't able to finish my fair share of two of them - the eggs benedict (hahahahahaha!!!!!) served over toast and an inch-thick slab of fried ham and the bread-and-bacon pudding masquerading as creme brulee french toast.  In my lifetime there have been very few meals that have ever gotten the better of me and to be stuffed two morning in a row was heretofore unheard of.

It occurred to me that, aside from the celibacy thing, these monks would great make husbands - quiet, hospitality-minded, good singers, keep a clean house, and know the value of a quiet weekend at home.  Or maybe the celibacy thing would be a plus?  I don't know about all that.  Oddly, although the monks certainly knew their way around the Fried Breakfast Items food group, they were a bit lacking in the coffee department.  For coffee all we got was the one-gallon red tub of Folger's Regular or the green tub of Folger's decaf.  What's up with that, monks?!?!  But that was okay, because just down the corner from us was highlight #2 of the trip.  Stay tuned!